Between Versions of Yourself

There are moments in life where something quietly shifts.

Your routines start to feel strange. Conversations that once used to feel normal now feel draining. Things that once excited you don’t anymore. But the new direction entirely isn’t clear yet.

You are not who you were.

But you’re not sure who you’re becoming.

Its a strange place to find oneself, it can feel unsettling. Most of us try escape this phase as quickly as possible. Looking for answers and reassurance that we’re on the right track.

But often, life doesn’t give clarity straight away. That doubt, unease, restlessness, uncertainty needs to be alchemised by the fire of life.

Sometimes we are given space. Space for old versions of us to slowly fall away. Space or new questions to appear. Space for something quieter to become noticeable.

From the outside, this phase often looks like confusion. From the inside it can feel uncomfortable and isolating. But looking back, some of my most important important transformations started here.

In the middle.

In that quiet place where we are no longer who we were, but the next version of us hasn’t fully arrived yet.

So what do we do when it feels like we’re stuck in that space?

For me, i try keep it simple. I remind myself that life is a lot stranger and more mysterious than my mind wants it to be.

Sometimes i think of it like a dream we’re all moving through. A very real dream, full of feeling and consequence, but still something is unfolding beyond out control.

In that dream I don’t think there are any real mistakes, at least in the way we imagine mistake. Just experiences, forks in the garden path so to speak.

So when I start feeling lost or uncertain, I try come back to a quieter trust.

Trusting that whatever intelligence move the seasons, the oceans, and the stars, probably knows how to move a human life.

What matters is remembering you’re not carrying the whole story by yourself. There’s something larger unfolding here. And if that’s true, then maybe the pressure to “figure everything out” can soften a little.